So, I thought I'd fill in all of you never-pregnant, never gonna be pregnant, or haven't been pregnant since the last ice age types on what it is like to be 36+ weeks "with child." I came up with this analogy yesterday when Quinn and I were having a little tiff over whether he was cleaning the bathroom quickly enough (gestation really brings out the best in me). Finally, I admitted that my attitude had nothing to do with the pace of his cleaning, which was excellent, and everything to do with the fact that I AM SO TIRED OF BEING PREGNANT.
After a few minutes of grovelling for forgiveness, I came up with a way to describe how I was feeling. It goes something like this:
Imagine you had a toothache. It started back in May-June and it really wasn't that bad. It came and went over the next several months; some days it was miserable, others you didn't even notice it. The only problem was that there was ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you could do to make the toothache go away other than wait. Since around Thanksgiving, the toothache has been really bad. You can barely sleep at night. It's all you can think about. It makes even the simplest things (grocery shopping, for instance) fairly miserable. Now the toothache has taken over your life. You know how to make it go away, but you also know (1) you can't choose when this will happen; and (2) getting rid of it will be a seriously painful proposition. So you wake up every morning HOPING AGAINST HOPE that today will finally be the day when your tooth will be pulled without anesthesia, following several hours of hard physical effort. That is the best case scenario of every day.
This, as you can imagine, is not a normal way to live and it has somewhat of a detrimental effect on one's psyche. So should you cross the path of an extremely pregnant woman, smile and duck if necessary.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I haven't learned much in my 27 years, but I have learned that:
1) Don't mess with pregnant women, unless you hate your eardrums
2) No matter how pregnant they look, always tell them they look "glowing." Everyone says pregnant women glow, and everyone is supposed to agree. Of course, I don't see it. I don't see any glow with pregnant people. I see a very grumpy woman with what would appear to be a very suddenly grown beer belly. But everyone says they glow, so by golly, I'd best not disagree.
I think the glow is just sweat from lugging around the extra weight. But that's off the record.
Post a Comment